Laos | Getting There

The next morning we got up to catch our "business class" flight back to Hanoi. Given that it was a whole $10 extra to upgrade we thought we'd splash out.

I can only assume we were duped and given economy class tickets, with our travel agent (Queen Travels, Hanoi) pocketing the difference. It's either that or the good people of Vietnam perform their business with their knees up round their heads whilst a sweet smiling, flannel wearing Nazi force feeds them floppy sandwiches and thimbles of water!!

An hour later we touched down. In need of a good osteopath (Jo where were you??!!), the plane emptied into Hanoi airport like a scene from Lord of The Rings! We collected our bags and began the 5hour wait for our flight to Laos.

The hours flew by. The lunch time game of "what the hell was this when it was alive?" kept us captivated for at least an hour and half. After lunch we migrated into the bar next door to the Bamboo Shop and listened to the calming sounds of a completely deranged shop assistant tunelessly plinkety-plonking on a bamboo xylophone. This then gave way to the timeless family game "how many ways can you murdering someone with a bamboo beater??" Sadly, Hollys' vastly superior medical knowledge came into it's own and I lost...!!

With 30minutes to spare our flight was announced (they like to keep you on your toes in Vietnam) and we boarded our Laos Airline MA60 aeroplane.

According to the "book of lies" Loas Airline has the worst reputation in SE Asia and the MA60 series aeroplane - the worst flight record - in that they spend more time being excavated by the Time Team than in the air!!!

Those of with a keen eye will spot two things in the photo of the safety notice (left). Picture 3, on the top row, shows passengers the recommended technique for banging their head on the chair in front whilst questioning their logic for being such a tight arse! Picture 2, again on the top row, then shows how best to assume an appropriate stance for deep/meaningful prayer such that you might survive the flight! The second row then reinforces the "no frills" motto adopted by Laos airline. The powers that be have decided life-jackets are far too frivolous and in the event passengers are to find themselves hurtling towards a large water mass its recommended they rip the seat bottom from the chair (presumably mid-plummet) and use it for flotation! I'm guessing the logic to this is that the seat bottom would give us just long enough to curse our own names before it became completely sodden and dragged us to the depths of the afore mentioned water mass!!

Anyway, after an hour and a half of Hail Marys and bloodless knuckles we were in Laos!!