20 January 2010

Vietnam I Nha Trang

After 9hours of being on the top bunk of an (supposedly) air conditioned 6ft cell/carriage suspended above a regularly soiling 6month old baby and its occasionally vomiting mother in 30 degree heat, we arrived into Nha Trang. Drenched in our own sweat and covered in talcum powder we got off the train feeling every bit the "VIP" our ticket said we would!!

Nha Trang is described by "the book of lies" as the "fun zone - the place for parties adrenaline-junkies and sun worshipers".

After a quick taxi ride down the road we checked into a hostel and headed out into the "fun zone"!!

During our time in Vietnam we had noted how we had pretty much been left alone by people selling books/bracelets/paintings/taxis/giant lighters/etc. In Nha Trang this trend would be broken!!

The basic routine, as was discovered over our first dinner, involves the local vendor clocking you walking up the road. He/she then waits for you to pick a restaurant and then as you gaze lovingly at your significant other, appears in the corner of your eye. Like the bad smell they are, they will momentarily linger before then going through the entire catalogue of items they are trying to sell, waiting for you to say "no thank you" before continuing on through their Kays Catalogue of Crap!! If at the end of their presentation they are left empty handed, they will usually then sit down in an empty chair next to you and like a lingering fart, will remain there for a good 5minutes, in silence, oblivious to the darting glares being thrown in their direction, before eventually floating off down the road. They are then almost immediately replaced by the next person.

We would eventually learn the only way to get rid of them was to just ignore them, as attempts to be nice and say things like "no thank you, may be later" back-fired and resulted in the vendor sitting down for the entire meal. Upon us getting the bill and paying, she bolted our her chair yelling "you buy sunglasses now????". Indeed even my attempts to toy with them didn't work. My question of "do you have a painting of a man selling paintings??", to the man trying to sell us paintings whilst depicting each of his paintings scenes (which included 'womaar on bicycle', 'bwutiful bamboo', 'wovely wiver', etc), was answered by him desperately searching through his collection and then rather sadly sloping off - I like to think he has since painted 'man swelling painting' and now roams the streets desperately trying to sell his latest masterpiece!!


After dinner and the mobile "Cash in the Attic" show, we sought refuge in the one of the hundreds of bars Nha Trang had to offer. It was soon discovered that the sheer volume of bars in Nha Trang has resulted in not a lot of them being particularly full. Those that were tended to be for the late 50's gentlemen seeking the comfort of a terrified looking 14year old or alternatively had been declared the place that the worlds' most annoying Aussie would trying his/her first drop of alcohol - thus making them even more annoying!!

After trying a few of the smaller places we headed to one of the two larger bars (Why Not Bar) in Nha Trang. This showed promise - brilliant music, cheap booze and a seemingly normal crowd. The "normal crowd" illusion was short lived. Within about 30minutes two men sporting the "shirt-tucked-into-nipple-high-trousers" arrived and after a bit of clapping and side stepping broke out into performing roly-polies on the dance floor!! This was accompanied by their female counterparts dancing round them like something out the Wickerman film. Within another half an hour the entire dance floor had filled with their rhythmically challenged friends who busied themselves by dancing round like a group of medical students.....all to tunes like Fake Blood - Mars!!

The next day, feeling a bit worse for wear and nursing soar ribs from several hours of laughter the night before, we set camp on Nha Trang beach and enjoyed the sun....in between the frequent localised solar eclipses that occur in Nha Trang as a result of the local woman (pictured left) trying to sell their giant poppadoms!!

Our second day in Nha Trang gave us our first day of holiday rain. Thankfully there is plenty to do in Nha Trang besides being hassled for over-sized Indian Takeaway items whilst lying on a beach. Our destination for the day was therefore set as the local Aquatic Museum which also sported an aquarium.

Whilst not particularly big, the Nha Trang aquarium does house some interesting items. There's;
- the shark tank with the worlds most petrified fish in it!
- the seal tank with the one demented seal in it who spends its' entire day bopping vertically up and down so it can look at the sea (that is right next to its tank) - beyond cruel!!
- the formaldehyde room, where the insane men at the back of this room spend their day inhaling fumes thinking of next weird and wonderful items to "preserve"!!

After a few hours of marveling at the god awful conditions (both for animals and employees) we went and checked out the largest cross sea cable car (which Nha Trang also hosts) and then headed back to our hotel for dinner and our last night in Vietnam.

No comments:

Post a Comment